Celebrate Women’s Dignity before Women’s Day!

During my childhood, I often heard older women advise young girls in the family about the importance of being educated. It had little to do with the noble goal of gaining knowledge, but it was about something more practical. It was about securing employment so as to not depend on one’s husband completely, or being employable should the husband lose his health, life or limb.

It seemed, at times, that these old women were a paranoid lot who were overly worried about the possibility of ending up alone. However, I now know that some of the really wise women were actually focusing on the importance of living a life of dignity under any given circumstance.

As a child, I saw some married women, and also widows, who ran a “pooTakULLa illu” providing sumptuous meals to many hungry people, and using the money thus earned to maintain the household and educate their children. I saw women making and selling beautiful flower garlands. I saw women selling fruits, vegetables, bangles and other things. I saw women learn tailoring skills and sew clothes as a source of livelihood. I saw women learning typing and shorthand and become secretaries. I saw the more ambitious ones complete their bachelors degree and a B.Ed and become teachers. Some took the bank exams, worked as clerks and rose in the ranks to become officers too.

I still see some women constantly pushing their limits, trying to excel in what they do, and supporting themselves, while making a difference to others.

The common trait of all these hardworking women is that they held on to their dignity even through the roughest patches of their lives, and stood as good role models to their sons and daughters.

If I remember it correctly, it was sometime during the late 1980s that a strange notion of “women’s empowerment” began. Women were now being encouraged to exercise NOT their right to education, NOT their right to employment, but their “right to divorce” and “the right to be maintained by their ex-husbands”!

This new wave was pushing women to become quite the opposite of what the wise old women of my childhood were suggesting. Suddenly, it was a woman’s right to live the life of a parasite. It was a woman’s right to throw all her education and training, experience and wisdom by the wayside, and to appear in court as a mendicant seeking maintenance from her separated or ex-husband.

This new idea of “women’s empowerment” gradually began obscuring the erstwhile virtue of dignity. It was no longer important to remain positive, strong and self-reliant in the face of adverse family situations. It was more important to “teach men a lesson” by unleashing all the laws of maintenance and alimony, to achieve whatever one can, ranging from extracting paltry sums of money every month to extorting an obscenely fat one-time alimony.

As an adult, I have seen hundreds of educated and able-bodied women frequenting courts, presenting themselves as some of the most unfortunate, destitute and vagrant beings, with no abilities or skills needed for daily sustenance, and praying the courts to order their estranged husbands to maintain them.

Today, the most vociferous women’s rights activists and women’s empowerment advocates endorse and encourage parasitic existence of women sans dignity, personal satisfaction, professional enhancement nor spiritual enrichment. We have been forced to accept that this is NOT enslavement of women, but a veritable path to women’s liberation!

As a thoughtful gentleman puts it on his blog, today, “many women who can logically plot the route and plan their logistics to lawyer’s offices and courts somehow just stop themselves short of plotting their the route to their own earned livelihood and dignified living.

There are many people who believe that paying maintenance and alimony may hurt men but “being maintained” hurts the dignity of women even more. These people rarely exercise their freedom of expression for the fear of being labeled anti-women. However, this Women’s Day, a bunch of concerned men decided to take it upon themselves to remind the world about the need to uphold women’s dignity.

On 6 March, they all stood at traffic junctions carrying boxes labeled “Wife-maintenance fund”, and handed out pamphlets which carried the following note:

Dear Sir/Madam

I am petitioning the public for funds for MAINTENANCE as demanded by my wife. I believe that all adult human beings with a sound body and mind, whether MALE or FEMALE, are capable of working and earning for their own sustenance.

I believe that many wonderful women who have achieved success through hard work have done it on their own will with a sense of dignity and purpose. I also believe in giving the same education and ideals to my daughter also. I will discourage my daughter if she wants to depend on anyone else financially after she grows up. #REALWOMEN

If you think that women are incapable of working or doing hard work, it is a gross insult to all working women who struggle on a daily basis to maintain their sense of dignity. However, if you still wish women to completely depend on men forever; please donate some money to my wife’s maintenance fund.

But if you think that women are equal to men in terms of financial capability and hard work, please support the concept of women’s dignity by work. On this Women’s Day let us appreciate the achievements of so many wonderful working women in our lives and public arena.

Thanking You

These men are observing “Women’s Dignity Day” on 7 March, a day before Women’s Day.

What a thoughtful gesture! Women’s dignity should indeed come first because Women’s Day has no meaning in the absence of women’s dignity. I am sure all the wise old grannies and self-respecting young ladies would agree.

Women's Dignity-1Women's Dignity - 4Women's Dignity-2Women's Dignity-5Women's Dignity-7Women's Dignity-6Women's Dignity-3

 

Feminists bully, India Times succumbs!

India Times ran an informative poster campaign about men’s issues on International Men’s Day, 19th November, 2015.

Feminists have exposed their intolerance for any discussion about men’s issues and the celebration of International Men’s Day. They bullied India Times into retracting the article from their website and forced them to issue an apology. Here’s the apology note by India Times:

India Times apology

Ironically, India Times only recently updated its cover photo to one which says, “Not afraid”.

Not afraid

Of course you are, India Times! You are just plain afraid!

Thanks to the internet and social media though…Truth can be deleted from a website, but cannot be completely erased!

img-20151122-wa0008img-20151122-wa0007img-20151122-wa0006img-20151122-wa0005img-20151122-wa0004img-20151122-wa0001img-20151122-wa0002img-20151122-wa0003img-20151122-wa0000

Thanks to https://legalfighter.wordpress.com/2015/11/22/indiatimes-bows-down-before-feminists/#comment-3258 for saving, reproducing the posters and making them available for download.

 

Violence Against Men and Boys Awareness Month

October is Violence Against Men and Boys Awareness Month (VAMBAM)

-Uma Challa

Power of a woman

“Stop violence against women!” That is a slogan that we have heard, day in and day out, over the last thirty years and have agreed with, unquestioningly. By doing so, we have also embraced its underlying assumptions, that violence is a gender issue, that men have been historically inflicting violence on women, all men (and only men) are capable of violence and that violence against men (by women) does not exist.

More recently, the focus of the subject has been broadened to include boys. A social awareness platform called Vogue Empower even made a short film entitled “Start with the Boys” which says, “We have taught our boys not to cry. It’s time we teach them not to make girls cry”.

Echoing this politically correct stance, and underlining the agenda of her Ministry, Women and Child Development Minister, Ms. Maneka Gandhi, recently said, “All the violence is male generated. One of the ways to tackle this is at the school stage”.

Ms. Gandhi proposed a program called “gender champions’’ in which “boys who have been particularly respectful and helpful to girls and deserve to be emulated” will be rewarded every year.

The powerful impact of these political and media generated messages is reflected in everyday conversations as well. To quote an example, a mother, who was worried about her 7 year old boy who would not talk to girls on his school bus, expressed her concern on Facebook, and received the following response from another boy’s mother:

Boys do need to do “feminine” things like cook, wear pink, dress up in florals, wear a skirt if only for protest against rapes….After all, a true man is someone who is in touch with his feminine side.”

For a while now, even something as innocuous as the usage of “he/him” has been politicized enough to make everyone pause and reconsider the use of the masculine pronoun in a normal English sentence.

One might have believed that all of the above are genuine efforts aimed only at gender equality and protection of women, if not for the stark apathy shown towards men in distress. There has been a prolonged and uncomfortable silence in our culture about female violence against men and boys. Emboldened by this silence, the war against men and boys, and everything masculine, has now become full-blown, and too glaring to ignore.

Today, exploiting, abusing, insulting, kicking, punching and slapping males has not only become acceptable, but it is even considered laudable behavior on the part of women and girls. While the popular media showers titles such as “bravehearts”, “youth icons” or “female role models” on these feisty women (like Rohtak sisters and Jasleen Kaur), State Governments have even announced cash awards to them. Ms. Gandhi herself has proposed prizes to girls who have been outstanding in their “bravery and attitude”.

There are far too many examples and compelling (NCRB) data about female violence on men and boys, begging for the conspicuous silence of the society to be broken.

The idea behind observing “Violence Against Men and Boys Awareness Month” (#VAMBAM) in October 2015 is to break the silence and address female violence against men and boys, which is stoked by gender politics.

Let us treat men in distress with the same kind of compassion and support as women in distress. Let us recognize that ignoring violence by women, and denial of protection against the same amounts to promotion of violence against men and boys.

Let us allow boys and girls to naturally explore and discover ways to relate with the opposite sex. Let us recognize that imposing gender politics on children to modify the behavior of young males or shaming those who do not comply amounts to violence against boys as well.

All India Men’s Welfare Association, All India Forgotten Women’s Association, True Equity Network and Paritran Foundation have joined hands to observe VAMBAM in India. VAMBAM has also been endorsed internationally, as seen in this message by Ms. Diane Sears, who is the Director of In Search of Fatherhood ® International Fatherhood and Men’s Issues Program:

October 2015 has been designated as INTERNATIONAL VIOLENCE AGAINST MEN AND BOYS AWARENESS Month. This initiative is the brainchild of Mrs. Uma Challa, a Gender Issues Thought Leader, humanitarian, author and India’s Coordinator for International Men’s Day. The USA International Men’s Day Team endorses Mrs. Challa’s initiative. Violence against Men and Boys creates a psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually toxic environment in our homes, our communities, and our world. INTERNATIONAL VIOLENCE AGAINST MEN AND BOYS AWARENESS Month — October 2015 — is a key “piece of the puzzle” to bringing healing to Men, Boys, our families, our communities, and our world and transforming our psychologically, emotionally, spiritually toxic and dysfunctional environment into a vibrant, loving, and nurturing oasis.

We urge all girls and women, boys and men everywhere to join us in this effort.

Boys are stupid throw rocks at them

vambam bad good

“Acche din” for men? Not by a long shot!

“Acche din” for men? Not by a long shot!

By Uma Challa

acche din

When the news of BJP’s election victory broke last year, I was on vacation in the US, on a beach in Florida to be precise. I was just as excited about the end of dynastic politics as many of my fellow countrymen were. I wrote a congratulatory message to India on the sandy beach, and posted a note on Facebook about how thrilled I was to return to a “Modified” India. I knew “acche din” were going to be a reality for at least some people in at least some issues. I could imagine the beginnings of decolonization and the revitalization of neglected cultures and languages.

“What about the ongoing war against men and boys?”, I wondered. “Will the Saffron Government end it or will they intensify it in an attempt to outdo the previous regimes in their “pro-women” stance?”, I pondered. Considering BJP’s serious and seasoned feminists like Ms. Sushma Swaraj, Ms. Smrithi Irani and Ms. Nirmala Sitharaman, who are all patriots enough to reject western-feminism, but share the same degree of misandry nevertheless, one could only guess whether “acche din” were in store for Indian males.

It would be useful to recall that back in December 2013, Ms. Irani, speaking at a leadership summit, said, “If a man is without malice, he has nothing to fear.” Her words resonate with those of Ms. Renuka Chaudhary, who, during her tenure as Minister for Women and Child Development (WCD), said, “If men behave, they have nothing to fear”. Anyone who has had a brush with the Indian “women-protection laws”, the law enforcement machinery and the judiciary knows what the above words mean. I took solace in the fact that none of the above mentioned card-carrying feminists were assigned to the Ministry of WCD in Modi’s Government.

Ms. Maneka Gandhi, the newly appointed Minister for WCD, remained very quiet and non-controversial with regards to her Ministerial affairs for over  a year. We do not know if, suddenly, like a bolt out of the blue, the pressure of her job description finally got to her, or the evil spirit that haunts her office possessed her. We do not know if she was overcome by a strong zeal to please or even outdo her predecessors and colleagues, or if she was indeed a misandrous closet-feminist who was waiting for the right moment to come out, but she finally spoke!

In a Facebook interaction with netizens, Ms. Gandhi declared that all violence is male-generated. Many Indian men’s rights activists (MRAs) were misled into believing that Ms. Gandhi was either ignorant of ground realities or that she was deliberately ignoring them. They tried to (in Arnab Goswami’s words) “throw statistics at” her and cited examples of violence by women on men and children. What these MRAs failed to understand is that according to Ms. Gandhi’s well-considered opinion, men are either abusive or they do stuff to deserve abuse against them, and by that impeccable logic, all violence is male-generated.

Ms. Gandhi, no doubt, made her mark and proved her worth by reasserting the Ministry’s eternal commitment to war against men. What really sets her apart, though, is the elegance with which she overtly declared state-sponsored war against boys through an upcoming initiative called ‘Gender Champions’. Under this initiative, boys who can train themselves to become doormats and punching bags early on will be rewarded with prizes, just as the girls who walk over them and punch them would be awarded titles for their “bravery” and “attitude”.

Just in case we might miss the point, Ms. Gandhi went a little further and stated that according to her, “education should be more gender sensitive and certainly animal sensitive”. This statement actually gets to the bottom of the ideology that drives the Ministry of WCD – that boys and men do not even deserve the empathy that animals do and that all males are dispensable. No democratically elected representative of India, not even the formidable ex-Minister of WCD, Ms. Renuka Chaudhary, was able to state it in such clear terms.

I cannot help recalling another speech by Ms. Irani, from late last year, in which she stated, “When women are put at the helm of affairs, conflict has this very unnatural way of decreasing”. She also said, “A leader is someone who takes you where you want to be, but a female leader is someone who takes you where you ought to be.”

So, here we are!

No prizes for guessing where we are going!