Violence Against Men and Boys Awareness Month

October is Violence Against Men and Boys Awareness Month (VAMBAM)

-Uma Challa

Power of a woman

“Stop violence against women!” That is a slogan that we have heard, day in and day out, over the last thirty years and have agreed with, unquestioningly. By doing so, we have also embraced its underlying assumptions, that violence is a gender issue, that men have been historically inflicting violence on women, all men (and only men) are capable of violence and that violence against men (by women) does not exist.

More recently, the focus of the subject has been broadened to include boys. A social awareness platform called Vogue Empower even made a short film entitled “Start with the Boys” which says, “We have taught our boys not to cry. It’s time we teach them not to make girls cry”.

Echoing this politically correct stance, and underlining the agenda of her Ministry, Women and Child Development Minister, Ms. Maneka Gandhi, recently said, “All the violence is male generated. One of the ways to tackle this is at the school stage”.

Ms. Gandhi proposed a program called “gender champions’’ in which “boys who have been particularly respectful and helpful to girls and deserve to be emulated” will be rewarded every year.

The powerful impact of these political and media generated messages is reflected in everyday conversations as well. To quote an example, a mother, who was worried about her 7 year old boy who would not talk to girls on his school bus, expressed her concern on Facebook, and received the following response from another boy’s mother:

Boys do need to do “feminine” things like cook, wear pink, dress up in florals, wear a skirt if only for protest against rapes….After all, a true man is someone who is in touch with his feminine side.”

For a while now, even something as innocuous as the usage of “he/him” has been politicized enough to make everyone pause and reconsider the use of the masculine pronoun in a normal English sentence.

One might have believed that all of the above are genuine efforts aimed only at gender equality and protection of women, if not for the stark apathy shown towards men in distress. There has been a prolonged and uncomfortable silence in our culture about female violence against men and boys. Emboldened by this silence, the war against men and boys, and everything masculine, has now become full-blown, and too glaring to ignore.

Today, exploiting, abusing, insulting, kicking, punching and slapping males has not only become acceptable, but it is even considered laudable behavior on the part of women and girls. While the popular media showers titles such as “bravehearts”, “youth icons” or “female role models” on these feisty women (like Rohtak sisters and Jasleen Kaur), State Governments have even announced cash awards to them. Ms. Gandhi herself has proposed prizes to girls who have been outstanding in their “bravery and attitude”.

There are far too many examples and compelling (NCRB) data about female violence on men and boys, begging for the conspicuous silence of the society to be broken.

The idea behind observing “Violence Against Men and Boys Awareness Month” (#VAMBAM) in October 2015 is to break the silence and address female violence against men and boys, which is stoked by gender politics.

Let us treat men in distress with the same kind of compassion and support as women in distress. Let us recognize that ignoring violence by women, and denial of protection against the same amounts to promotion of violence against men and boys.

Let us allow boys and girls to naturally explore and discover ways to relate with the opposite sex. Let us recognize that imposing gender politics on children to modify the behavior of young males or shaming those who do not comply amounts to violence against boys as well.

All India Men’s Welfare Association, All India Forgotten Women’s Association, True Equity Network and Paritran Foundation have joined hands to observe VAMBAM in India. VAMBAM has also been endorsed internationally, as seen in this message by Ms. Diane Sears, who is the Director of In Search of Fatherhood ® International Fatherhood and Men’s Issues Program:

October 2015 has been designated as INTERNATIONAL VIOLENCE AGAINST MEN AND BOYS AWARENESS Month. This initiative is the brainchild of Mrs. Uma Challa, a Gender Issues Thought Leader, humanitarian, author and India’s Coordinator for International Men’s Day. The USA International Men’s Day Team endorses Mrs. Challa’s initiative. Violence against Men and Boys creates a psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually toxic environment in our homes, our communities, and our world. INTERNATIONAL VIOLENCE AGAINST MEN AND BOYS AWARENESS Month — October 2015 — is a key “piece of the puzzle” to bringing healing to Men, Boys, our families, our communities, and our world and transforming our psychologically, emotionally, spiritually toxic and dysfunctional environment into a vibrant, loving, and nurturing oasis.

We urge all girls and women, boys and men everywhere to join us in this effort.

Boys are stupid throw rocks at them

vambam bad good

International Women’s Day Placards

Below are the placards we used for International Women’s Day 2010:

IWD placards

Please feel free to download and print.

And below is the link to the pictures of our celebrations:

Join our Women’s Day Celebrations!

International Women's Day 2010Dear friends,

Join us as we celebrate International Women’s Day on Sunday, 7 March, at 10:30 a.m. in Public Gardens, Nampally (in front of Health Museum), Hyderabad.

On the occasion of International Women’s Day 2010, All India Forgotten Women’s Association (AIFWA), True Equity Network (TEN) India and Andhra Pradesh Mothers-in-law Protection Association (APMPA) are celebrating the many achievements and successes of women. We also address the dilemmas of present day women, and look at the way forward to achieve true empowerment of women.

On the occasion of International Women’s Day, we would like to call upon women to free themselves from self-pity and negativity. We would like all women to remember that:

  • real women have self-esteem and dignity
  • real women reject preferential treatment over men and children
  • real women succeed by proving their true worth
  • real women take responsibility for their actions
  • real women do not make false allegations or file false cases

We call upon the citizens and Government of India to recognize that:

  1. Promoting women’s welfare does not mean weakening and destroying marriage.
  2. Liberating women does not mean destroying their biological and social privileges of being a wife and a mother.
  3. Protecting women does not mean supporting misuse of the law, violating human rights and destroying families.
  4. Empowering women does not mean encouraging blackmail, extortion and parasitism by women.
  5. Encouraging women in all walks of life does not mean providing special privileges and lowered standards of performance.

Join our movement for true empowerment and help end the gender war!

Please come with your near and dear ones and make this event a success!

International Women’s Day – 2010

On the occasion of International Women’s Day 2010, All India Forgotten Women’s Association (AIFWA), True Equity Network (TEN) India and Andhra Pradesh Mothers-in-law Protection Association (APMPA) are celebrating the many achievements and successes of women. At the same time, we address the dilemmas of present day women, and look at the way forward to achieve true empowerment of women.

It is an undeniable fact that women today enjoy a lot of opportunities and independence compared to women of previous generations.  Women are constantly being reminded of their rights and privileges. The Government is constantly doling out policies claiming to empower women and to encourage women’s participation in all walks of life.

We have more women attending schools and colleges, more women graduating with degrees and diplomas, and more women entering varied professions and earning their livelihood. Women are competing with men in academic, corporate, service, bureaucratic, political and other careers. Women now own property and wealth of their own.

Women are realizing their ability to set educational, career, and economic goals for themselves and achieving them. This is definitely worth celebrating and cheering.

Since the last 15-20 years, more and more young women are also putting career first and delaying marriage and children. They are buying into the idea that husband, children and family do not necessarily bring happiness and satisfaction, but on the contrary, obstruct a woman’s freedom. They are convinced that career, individual pursuits and financial freedom promise more of both satisfaction and happiness, as they seemingly do to men. Women’s emancipation has become synonymous with being like men and doing everything they do.

As a result, more women are deliberately or inadvertently relinquishing the choices that their grandmothers and mothers had. More women who want to avoid becoming “slaves of the family” are now becoming slaves of corporate entities and feeling trapped inside offices instead of homes. Women who want to marry, have children, enjoy family life and also have a career are unable to figure out what they need to do to have them all or if it is in fact possible to have them all.

In this age of nuclear families, women are planning their lives with little or no guidance, and with few good role models to look up to. They are struggling to reconcile their natural desire for family and motherhood with the unrealistic standards imposed by radical feminism. The natural pleasures of being a wife, raising children and looking after a home are now turning into a source of agony to many women. Those women who choose to put family first are being portrayed as inferior, and those who walk out on the family at the drop of a hat, labelled liberated women.

As a result, today there are more women separated or never married. Divorce rates are on the rise, and close to 70% of all divorce cases are initiated by women. There are a rising number of women raising their children alone. There are more women with infants and very young children working full-time jobs, and consigning their children to day care centres.

Now there are new justifications for classifying all women as “oppressed” and guilt-tripping or demanding the society to grant them special concessions in every field just for being women. In spite of all the “liberation”, more women are left wondering why happiness is still a mirage, and satisfaction nowhere in sight.

Why did such a situation arise?

Women’s rights activists may claim to champion a woman’s right to be treated as a human (just as a man is), but they forget that we are not just humans but are also women, different from men, with different natural desires and needs which cannot be ignored. Just as we would suffer if we were not treated like humans, we also suffer if we are deprived of the natural gifts and privileges of womanhood.

The feminist movement clearly taught women to demand more rights, privileges and laws. It has taught women to break the shackles of their homes and to step out into the “world of opportunities”. However, it has not taught women how to handle freedom, how to take responsibility for one’s own choices and know when to stop to avoid pitfalls.

Depending on the immediate and extended family for support in case of doubt, difficulty or distress is a thing of the past. Women’s organizations, police stations and courts have become proxy family for the modern woman and dish out an elaborate menu of laws to satisfy her whims more than her needs. By routinely attributing traits of low self-esteem, self pity, vagrancy, vulnerability and helplessness to women and girls, they have turned women into mendicants and parasites.

The women’s movement has also propagated the practice of blaming the men and the so-called “male-dominated” society for all the lapses and failures that result from the irrational ideas and practices advocated by feminism.

On the occasion of International Women’s Day, we would like to call upon women to free themselves from self-pity and negativity. We call upon women to use their education, learning and individuality to make wise choices and take responsibility for the outcomes. We call upon women to stop complaining that they are unable to have the cake and eat it too just because they are women, because the truth is, neither can men.

We call upon the citizens and Government of India to recognize that:

  1. Promoting women’s welfare does not mean weakening and destroying marriage.
  2. Liberating women does not mean destroying their biological and social privileges of being a wife and a mother.
  3. Protecting women does not mean supporting misuse of the law, violating human rights and destroying families.
  4. Empowering women does not mean encouraging blackmail, extortion and parasitism by women.
  5. Encouraging women in all walks of life does not mean providing special privileges and lowered standards of performance.

We must take the following steps to ensure true empowerment and welfare of women:

  1. Non-serious family problems should be corrected through programs offering voluntary assistance to individuals in troubled marriages.
  2. India should be prevented from becoming an anti-marriage, anti-family, fatherless “welfare state”.
  3. Laws and policies must be based on principles of equity and fairness, and not radical feminist ideologies and false statistics.
  4. The feminist culture of mass irresponsibility should be done away with.
  5. Women should be encouraged to inculcate self-esteem, reject preferential treatment, and succeed in their chosen areas of study or career by proving their true worth.

We urge everyone to join our movement for true empowerment and help end the gender war.

Mid-day Reports On Women Against Male-bashing

‘Gillette is breaking families’

By: Anshuman G Dutta

A Hyderabad-based women’s NGO joins hands with its male counterparts against the Shave India Campaign

Bollywood hotties Mugdha Godse, Neha Dhupia and Minissha Lamba are urging women to encourage their men to get rid of facial hair. But, here’s good news for those men fed up with “derogatory” advertisements prodding them to shave. The fairer sex supports the stubble too.

After men-only NGOs raised their voice against the new campaign of Gillette, a multi-national brand of safety razors, which has launched a tirade against facial hair, a Hyderabad-based NGO, All India Forgotten Women’s Association (AIFWA), has also join hands with its male counterparts.

Gillette, a brand owned by Procter and Gamble (P&G), launched a Women Against Lazy Stubble (WALS) advertisement featuring Bollywood hotties urging women to encourage their men to get rid of facial hair. Men grow stubble just out of their laziness, the campaign said.

According to the NGO, the advertisement is derogatory and has the tendency to create  family disharmony.

“The Shave India Campaign is all about male bashing. Showing men in a poor light has become a corporate gimmick,” said Uma Challa, president, AIFWA.

The NGO has asked all memebers to shun Gillette products to mark its protest against the company. Besides, it has invited other like-minded people to join the cause and boycott the company till an apology is furnished.

“A man — be it husband, father, brother or son — play an important role in the family. And this is not because of their preference to shave or not to shave. Shaving has nothing to do with the relationship and being lazy,” she said.

Challa also informed that her husband Kiranam Chatti, who is a scientist, also did not shave on December 7 that was observed by India Men Welfare Association (AIMWA)  as National Stubble Day.

While AIFWA  insisted upon the vital role of men in a family environment, it is also planning to make it a nationwide campaign. Its website while severely criticising P&G for the advertisement called the idea vile, anti-male, loony stunt. “If P&G doesn’t hesitate to indulge in demeaning our men, they shouldn’t expect women to refrain from demeaning P&G either,” read the website.

“The advertisement says “Women on Warpath” against their lazy husband because they are not shaving everyday. It’s a ridiculous even to think,” said Uma.

This is not all. To protest the Gillette advertisement AIMWA has launched another campaign “Refund for Razors”, where all the members will send their used Gillette razors to the company. “We are boycotting all Proctor & Gamble (P&G) products and our members are enthusiastically following it,” said Virag Dhulia, founder member of AIMWA.

“With other social activists  joining our campaign we have proved that the advertisement is against our basic motto of promoting harmony in a family. No corporate body can promote Indian women to go on a “warpath” just because their husbands are not shaving every day. Moreover, no one has the right to call us lazy  over such thing,” said Swarup Sarkar, coordinator, Save Family Foundation (SFF), who is spearheading the movement against Gillette’s promotional feature.

Also read: SOS: Save our stubble

Uma Challa writes on her blog
I, as a human being, empathise with the plight of the modern day man, who is expected to be nothing less than perfect in order to be spared of ridicule or hatred in the society.

Present day women always have so many excuses for behaving the way they do, and are always talking about what they want. But now that male-bashing is promoted as a laudable pursuit by selfish companies like P&G and there is no price for being pig-headed and unfair, they really don’t see anything wrong in dictating terms to men. Yes, guys, this is what the flakes want. The verdict is finally out.

Men Are Human Too

Today, 10 December 2009, marks the conclusion of the “16 Days of Activism Against Global Feminist Terrorism” by All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA) and All India Forgotten Women’s Association (AIFWA).

Today, UN and all countries around the world are also observing Human Rights Day, with “non-discrimination” as this year’s theme.

Commenting on this year’s theme Mr. Ban Ki-moon said, “Discrimination targets individuals and groups that are vulnerable to attack: the disabled, women and girls, the poor, migrants, minorities, and all those who are perceived as different.”

Most people will not miss seeing the word “men” in the list of “vulnerable groups” mentioned above. I am sure majority of men, including the UN Secretary General himself, do not know that they belong in the list.

This is not surprising, as Mr. Ban Ki-moon himself said, “It is often those who most need their human rights protected, who also need to be informed that the Declaration exists — and that it exists for them.”

During our 16 Days of Activism Against Global Feminist Terrorism, we highlighted the serious human rights abuses that men are subjected to in the name of women’s rights and the collateral damages suffered by women, children and families.

While the Universal Declaration of Human Rights claims to be “a reaffirmation of the faith of the peoples of the UN in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person and in the equal rights of men and women”, it is amply clear that in most parts of the world, men are not treated with the dignity and respect that human beings deserve.

On the contrary, social and legal discrimination against men and violation of their human rights are now projected as praiseworthy goals for all present nations and future generations.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights states:

  • Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.
  • No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.
  • Everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law in a public trial at which he has had all the guarantees necessary for his defence.
  • No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.

In blatant violation of all the above rights, thousands of husbands and their families are arbitrarily arrested every year, without evidence or investigation, under IPC Sections 498A, 304B, Dowry Prohibition Act, and related laws which presume that the accused are “guilty until proved innocent”.

India’s National Human Rights Commission (NHRC) has noted the misuse of dowry laws, arrest of innocent individuals and the resultant overcrowding of prisons. NHRC has urged the judiciary and law enforcement agencies to take measures against these abuses.

Nevertheless, police routinely enter people’s homes at ungodly hours, take accused individuals into custody, and incarcerate them without bail for variable lengths of time, ranging from a couple of days to several months. Innocent citizens are illegally detained, humiliated, subjected to mental and physical torture, blackmail and extortion, driving many to commit suicide. The honor and reputation of these accused individuals is attacked through media trial and unrestrained slander by feminists every day.

The Universal Declaration of Human rights states:

  • Men and women are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.
  • All are equal before the law, and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law.

Family and marriage related laws in India exhibit nothing but discrimination against men and fathers. Men are blatantly denied social and legal protection from domestic abuse. Men suffering domestic abuse are compelled to endure several years of legal harassment and are often denied divorce citing “lack of strong grounds”.

Men also endure false allegations of abuse made by wives seeking divorce, and end up with a divorce they never wanted. Fathers are ruthlessly denied contact with their children, and forced to pay exorbitant sums of money as alimony and child support.

The Universal Declaration of Human rights states:

  • Everyone has the right to own property alone as well as in association with others.
  • No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his property.

The Indian Domestic Violence Act empowers a wife to violate marital norms with impunity and claim residence and maintenance from the husband. Many men and their families are thrown out of or deprived freedom of movement in their own homes, upon baseless allegations of abuse made by unscrupulous wives.

Mr. Ban ki-moon asserts, “It is our duty to ensure that these (human) rights are a living reality — that they are known, understood and enjoyed by everyone, everywhere.”

It is ironical that the United Nations and its affiliate organizations sponsor these human rights violations and legal terrorism through feminist initiatives claiming to uplift and empower women.

On the occasion of Human Rights Day 2009, AIMWA and AIFWA urge you to raise your voice against global feminist terrorism, which is responsible for large scale human rights abuses against men and their kin.

We demand that the UN declares “Men are human too” as the theme for Human Rights Day 2010.

Other articles featured during the 16 Days of Activism:

Day 1: 16 Days of Activism Against Global Feminist Terrorism November 25 – December 10

Day 2: Fact sheet on domestic violence against men in India

Day 3: Beware boys! The female Taliban is coming for you!

Day 4: One in three victims of family violence is male

Day 5: Rape Law: YES can mean NO

Day 6: Misuse of Sec. 498A of IPC and Dowry Prohibition Act

Day 7: Compromising National Security to Address Feminist Insecurity?

Day 8: The Myth of Women’s Oppression

Day 9: Domestic Violence – The Industry of Lies

Day 10: The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness

Day 11: Watch Out for Paternity Fraud!

Day 12: Feminists: So Say One, So Say Them All

Day 13: Dowry death and bride burning: A look beyond the smoke screen

Day 14: “Committed to the cause of women” – The Trojan Horse of Indian Feminism

Day 15: Fatherless Society – The Feminist Utopia

16 Days of Activism Against Global Feminist Terrorism November 25 – December 10

Radical feminist groups across the globe have declared a war against men, boys, marriage and family. Enormous sponsorship from various Governments and the United Nations not only provides legitimacy to this war, but also serves to drown the voices of reason trying hard to be heard.

Under the innocuous guise of women’s rights and women’s empowerment, radical feminists have systematically destroyed the institutions of family and marriage in most Western countries. During the last decade, they directed their attack at the so-called “developing” nations like India, which is known for its strong family culture and marriage values, and where the only means of social security is the extended family.

The weapons and tactics employed in feminist terrorism are:

* Hate speech against men and family
* Fabricated and false statistics
* Blatant lies
* Opportunistic arm-twisting, guilt-tripping and bullying
* Draconian gender biased laws

Through these weapons and tactics, radical feminists have successfully hijacked the concepts of fairness and equality under law, sabotaged the ideals and goals of democracy, slaughtered human rights and are insisting on a Taliban-like regime in every nation.

The victims of this global feminist terrorism, as with any other form of terrorism, are unwary men, women and children.

The fallout of this global gender war is steep rise in divorce rates, number of fatherless children, violence against men, number of men ending their own lives, number of “unwanted” pregnancies and juvenile crimes.

Feminist terrorism is one of the worst dangers faced by all nations today, and the threat transcends all social, economic and religious barriers. Civilized and respectable citizens of all countries, religions, and socio-economic groups should actively counter such feminist terrorism for the sake of the well-being of our families, communities and our future generations.

“16 Days of Activism Against Global Feminist Terrorism” is a campaign initiated by All India Men’s Welfare Association and All India Forgotten Women’s Association. Our 16 day internet campaign will involve publishing a series of articles, fact sheets and research findings by men’s rights, fathers’ rights and family rights activists across the world.

Through our campaign, we wish to:

1. Spread awareness on the perils of radical feminist ideologies
2. Emphasize harmonious gender relations
3. Protest discrimination and abuse of men and children in the name of women’s rights
4. Advocate equal protection for men, women and children from all forms of violence
5. Condemn all gender biased laws
6. Condemn male bashing and stereotyping of men
7. Promote gender equality in all walks of life
8. Protest the export of weapons of family destruction
9. Promote family harmony
10. Promote respect and justice for genuine victims of violence

Organizations supporting “16 Days of Activism Against Global Feminist Terrorism”:

* Save Indian Family Foundation
* Save Family Foundation
* Protect Indian Family Foundation
* Gender Human Rights Society
* Pati Pariwar Kalyan Samiti
* All India Mothers-in-law Protection Forum
* Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting
* Andhra Pradesh Mothers-in-law Protection Association

Please stay tuned and visit the web site frequently for updates!

International Men’s Day Message

19 NOVEMBER 2009

Men and women across the world will be celebrating International Men’s Day on Thursday, 19 November 2009.  This year, India celebrates International Men’s Day for the third time along with 23 other countries around the globe.

Bike and car rallies are being conducted in all major cities in India to reach out to the public and encourage them to celebrate this day. In Hyderabad, a vehicle rally will start from Public Gardens at 8:30 a.m. and conclude at Hitech City around 12:00 noon.

Message for everyone on International Men’s Day

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.

The above is a quote of Henry David Thoreau, who observed that most men are enslaved to their work and to those for whom they work. True to his words, everyday,

•    Men protect and provide for families.
•    Men render many services that make the society comfortable for everyone.
•    Men make many contributions to science, technology and health of all.
•    Men perform the most dangerous and difficult jobs in the world.
•    Men take risks and die to save other lives during calamities and war.

Every day and everywhere, as we are busy idolizing movie stars, athletes and other celebrities as role models, the common men around us –  the academic achievers, social leaders,  champions of the environment, artists, comedians, soldiers, farmers, fishermen, fire fighters,  and those more humble males who, on a daily basis, clean our streets, build our houses, fix our vehicles, police our streets, deliver newspapers and milk, and care for children – dedicate themselves to their work and continue to serve everyone.

On International Men’s Day, here is our message to all men:

Tell your story and sing your song!
We will listen, cheer, remember and support you.

On International Men’s Day, we call upon all men and women to recognize and honor men for the numerous services they render and the innumerable sacrifices they make for the health and well-being of our families and society.

We call upon everyone to celebrate the men in our lives – our fathers, brothers, partners, sons, male friends, neighbors and colleagues.

We urge everyone to –



Organizations celebrating International Men’s Day in Hyderabad

All India Forgotten Women, Andhra Pradesh Mothers-in-law Protection Association, Mothers and Sisters Initiative, Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting, All India Men’s Welfare Association, Rishtey and Save Indian Family Foundation